Pleasure is often the Introduction to Pain

Hey I'm new here! I was totally invited to write for this blog. Imagine that. You can refer to me as “Craig,” because that's my real first name. And believe it or not, the photograph in my profile is actually me too! Those were the days.

Back when I was 14 years old, I never thought I'd be posting for blogs. Matter of fact, if you even told me I was going to post for blogs, I'd probably bellow a deep moan and cover my ears. Back then I didn't take too kindly to strangers who used them type of words. But now, forget about it! (How do they say it, “fuhgetaboutit?” Yeah yeah, fuhgetaboutit.) Look at me, I love it already!

The best thing about posting for blogs is you can say whatever's on your mind at any given time, as long as you know how to type and you have the blog site up with the “Compose” window open, on a computer that's working with no one standing behind you reading aloud what you're typing. It's pretty obvious that's the best thing. Just ask my blog-mate Patrick. Look at what he's blogged about already. Look at it. I don't even know what he said, but it sounds cool when read out loud.

And honestly, that's all I'm looking for here—someone to read everything back to me. As long as they're not standing right behind me reading everything I'm typing. We've already discussed this remember?

In an attempt to put this ever so eloquently, if I don't annoy you yet, just fucking wait.